5 Reasons Why We Have A Hard Time Doing Self Healing Work

When we begin our inner healing journey, there may be blocks that arrive in the process of bettering ourselves. These blocks may discourage us from wanting to continue doing the work however, if we are aware of them we can use the lessons to further our knowledge of ourselves and our needs. I wanted to share a handful of ways that these blocks may show up in our journey of personal growth.

1. Not Having Enough Awareness of the Present Moment

A great deal of our time on our individual paths is spent projecting into the future or contemplating too deeply of the past for the answers we seek. Sometimes what we are looking for in our healing can be revealed right in the present moment when we practice slowing down, relaxing, and checking in with our breath. Reconnecting with our bodies allows us the opportunity to be able to regulate physical symptoms of distress, anxiety, anger, etc. that may be exasperating other problems in the current moment. Our bodies often can inform us on our condition when our minds are not able to register emotions, experiences, or memories. Therefore, having awareness gives us time to sit in the moment to remind ourselves that we still have the newness of the present to reground, regroup, refresh, and review.

2. Shame and Fear

When we have neglected to shine a light on our conditioning, we may feel a sense of fear and shame. We may ask ourselves, "How could I have let this get this bad?" "Why did I let this go on for so long?". "What can I even do about it now?" Having compassion and patience for ourselves can be foreign at first when we are critical of our ways of being. It is important to practice speaking to ourselves as if we are our child self, always learning. Not criticizing or talking down to ourselves, but lifting ourselves up. Taking responsibility for our actions aids our process - however it is just as important to recognize the subconscious motives, thinking patterns, and trauma-response patterns that we have learned and adapted with since childhood. The lessons that come with learning about our true selves is not something that can develop instantaneously. Once we remove the veil of shame, the hindsight is what allows us to clearly see what we can learn from our lived experiences. The insight and power that you embody by reflecting is tremendous, whenever and however the opportunity arises - and it is valuable to recognize the wisdom that the past may hold for you.

3. Realization vs Integration

As we learn about ourselves and get excited to adopt new practices, patterns, and intentions - we don't consider the amount of time that is required to fully process and integrate the information. Our minds may have uncovered deep truths about our condition and accepted new ideas that may change the course of our life, but in order to make use of the new information, we have to take our time shifting out of the previous set of conditions, habits, and thought patterns we had lived in for so long. We don’t consider that the body and mind had lived in a certain pattern of thinking, structure, and behavior for a significant amount of time. You have to give yourself the opportunity to experience the process of evolving. We can get discouraged when we don't see instant results; giving up and believing that we aren’t ready yet or we aren't worthy of what our higher self is asking us. Or we may be so shocked or stunned by the new information that it takes a toll on our minds and bodies. The healing process is closing that gap between realization and integration. You must be patient with yourself during the time it takes for you to fully integrate the lessons learned.

4. Clinging On to Outdated Labels, Narratives, and Expectations

Our refusal to deconstruct our idea of ourselves can keep up from witnessing and allowing space for our evolution. We often cling tightly to roles, labels, and narratives that may seem fitting for a moment in time, but when we do this, we subconsciously limit ourselves from the possibility of expanding past the identities and paths we have accepted to be true for us. As we heal, we begin to look at our lives with fresh eyes and have to be comfortable with change and evolution in order to move into the next chapter of our stories. When we find ourselves unhappy it is commonly the conditions of our lives, thought patterns that we have been holding on to, or outdated beliefs, that have been keeping us chained to a narrative that isn't our own. To become comfortable with the uncomfortable, newness, and unknown is to surrender to our higher selves - a humbling recognition that the conditions of the past are no longer working for us. But once we surrender to change, the possibilities of life expand tremendously.

5. Not Having the Tools or Resources You Need

It is imperative to seek trustworthy resources outside of yourself that can bring an objective, non-judgmental, and non-manipulative viewpoint. Finding community, seeking therapy, self-help podcasts, a spiritual/healing modality, self-regulation routines, etc. can help aid you on your journey. Beware of teachers, gurus, guides, or belief systems that express that they have all of the answers for you. No matter what method you use, no one can tell you what is best for you other than YOU. The self-healing journey is uniquely yours - it is up to you to experience it how YOU see fit. It may not look similar to anyone else's and that's OK.

Questions for Integration

• What are you clinging to that you believe no longer serves you and where you are trying to go?

• What are some resources that you think you may need in order to help guide your healing? Try and set a goal to explore and find 2-3 new resources that you enjoy and can help you on your journey. It can be a new book, podcast, youtube channel, seeking therapy solo sessions or group sessions, community support, etc.

• In what ways can you become more patient with yourself to allow for integration to occur? Do you have any expectations for yourself that are too strict? Is there smaller, more manageable ways to incorporate the changes and evolution that you wish to see for yourself in your everyday life?

• How can you honor your journey up to this point in order to release any shame you may have? What valuable lessons have you learned that have brought you wisdom and growth, despite the circumstances surrounding how the lessons were received?

• How can you bring yourself back to the present moment more often? What activities do you find you are the most grounded and present in? Exercise: Deepen and focus on your breath. Feel the ground beneath your feet, the chair under your bottom - release the any and all tension in your jaw, shoulders, chest, stomach, legs, feet, etc. Try and focus in on every muscle and relax as much as you can into the moment. Hold this for 5 minutes, and repeat as many times as you'd like throughout the day.
  

Spoken word:

(say aloud)

“My healing journey is uniquely mine - I deserve the time, resources, and love that I require. I am right where I need to be. I am exactly who I need to be. I am whole. I am healed.”

Love to you.

- DENI